“God knows what is better for us. Let us seek only that our heart be free from sin.” – Augustine
I have spent too much of my life, and my prayer life, asking for God to lead me into His “perfect will”. “God lead me”. “Guide me”. “Use me”. “Bless me”. While I know that God is a gracious, condescending God who meets us wherever we are, I something wonder if God has been up there saying….
“Um…yeah. I’m Your Shepherd. That’s what I do.”
So there’s a problem revealed here. If I really believed that God was good….that He was my dad who was all powerful and all knowing and all loving….then I wouldn’t be repeatedly begging him to lead me with this certain twinge of anxiety. I would relax. Dad’s got me. Chill.
But I don’t believe it, obviously. And yet the problem goes deeper still. If the pulse of my prayer life is set on my future (“God lead me guide me help me”), and not on God Himself (“Our Father who art in heaven”) then this has revealed that there is really a rival god in the mix. An idol. “Success” or perhaps “Comfort” or “Control”. I want my best life now, not Jesus. Really what I have been asking is….”God make my life go perfectly”. “Make it exceptional.” “Make my life epic.”
Now….there’s nothing inherently wrong with seeking God’s guidance. But ask yourself this….”If the world could read my prayer journal….all in all…..would God look more like a genie or a treasure?”
Why are we so obsessed with “it” (God’s will) unless knowing “it” is more desirable to us than knowing “Him”?
Maybe God doesn’t want your life to be epic. Maybe He wants it to be normal. Maybe He wants your heart to be epic. And the path to seeing this accomplished is….your heart made more like his….will actually not come through the achievement of your plans but through their mutilation. God, for His children, will patiently and lovingly deny them of their desires until what they desire is Him.
“One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.”
What are you seeking? God or something He can give you. Your happiness is at stake. Your soul is at stake.
Writing that you might want Him,